Can you hear that Mr Anderson?

I'm sitting here contemplating my final night in Hamburg, the once foreign city. It's strange how things change, how what was once unknown becomes the familiar, and what was once familiar becomes a memory. Roles change, scenery changes, and with it so do people.

The question isn't necessarily how much have I changed, it's more than that. The question has no real form anymore. I know this time in Hamburg has been a fortunate time for myself, the first month of almost solitude forcing development and rethinking on my part. The interactions with people once they arrived, the growth of friendships and relationships and with it, me. I know Hamburg has changed me in so many ways. It's probably going to be an easier task to determine what hasn't changed.

And with that, I'm left asking the question: "What has changed back home?". I know people have moved on, I know places have changed, friendships may have altered, and definitely parts of my life have moved on. I'm no longer a student, does that mean people around me will react differently, be different? Curiosity sticks to me, and I'm pondering what awaits my return. I've moved on to different areas of my life. I left Wellington a bright eyed student. What will my return be?

Don't mistake this for anything else than what it is presented as, musings. I'm not suggesting that I will change upon my return. I'll be the same as when I left Hamburg, but the question is how will I fit into Wellington? I'm still going to be chasing those challenges, hunting those opportunities, but I think there's going to be a wider scope than I ever had before. If anything, Hamburg has opened my eyes more, given me a taste of the global delicacy. And I like it.

If I learnt anything on this exchange, it's don't let borders stop you. I came all the way to Hamburg from New Zealand, I've seen Barcelona, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Dublin, Berlin, Dresden, and seen that there is no real limit to where you can travel. With that in mind, I know that it's only a matter of money as to where you can get to in the world. And in the long run, money is worth less to me than happiness.

So it's not the sound of inevitably coming down that railroad, it's the sound of opportunity, something to grab onto with both hands and cherish. Life is not worth much if you don't take risks. And I've learnt one thing on this trip, and it's that there's risks in life that you need take, and some you should anyway. I'm glad I've risked coming to a foreign city, I'm glad I've taken the risk of learning a new language from scratch.

And damn it, I'm over the moon that I took the risk of opening myself up to someone else. Elaine means alot to me, and I've taken the risk of telling her that, and I feel good. Bring on the 11420 kilometres (that's 7097 miles).

It'd be far too cheesy for me to write the accompanying train noises, so just insert them yourself now. Oh hell...Choo choo.

The Remains of the Day

The end of my time in Hamburg is nigh, and it's really starting to dawn on me. I sent off a package containing things I won't need for a while that should hopefully ensure my baggage remains outside excess status. Touch wood.

I've also gotten back into wandering around town. The feel is completely different than before, partly because I know where everything is, and places that I lost myself in last time turn out to only be around the corner from familiar territory. Nonetheless, it's still easy to find peace. A walk around the Alster today was settling. I managed to get many thoughts in place, while still musing and allowing the Thought Express train to get sidetracked every now and then without derailment. Though no I took today can really depict the serenity around the Alster at a strange twilight hour of 3 pm, I do have one of from the other side of the Binnen Alster.

Hopefully it can convey some of the emotional ties and memories I have to Hamburg now. Devout followers will recognise two spires in the picture: The Rathaus, and St Nikolas. If not, then well I hope you enjoy the view.

As for organising some thoughts on my little jaunt, I managed to come to the distinct conclusion that I know very little about what next year holds for me, and a little less about what I really want. It all comes down to one two words: "A Plan". Frankly, my plan is slightly more foward looking. It's big picture kind of stuff. Some details need ironing out, but they'll come.

In terms of this global view, it's pretty much that. I know I'll be in Vienna again next year for two weeks come the end of March. I'd very much like, and am taking all steps to ensure that I'm in the USA for at least two weeks come the start of May. There's the possibility of travelling between these times, as well as the possibility of being in Japan come July. For work of all things.

As for work and money, I've been trying to figure that out. I'm fairly positive the money aspect can be covered, thanks to Bucerius. And I'll just lay my cards out on the table in terms of employment and time. Being openly honest has only proved beneficial thus far.

It certainly doesn't look as though the future is going to be dull, and I'm doing my damndest to make sure it has it's challenges, moments, and rewards. All in all, in spite of things dwindling out here in Hamburg, and although the entertaining lifestyle of a student is dying with it, I have to say that the future does look promising, whereever it is and whatever it holds.

It's a White (Fourth) Christmas Day

Woke up this morning to see snow outside my window. Sweet, brings a smile to my face to see snow in December. Probably much like the people I talked to who laugh when I tell them about summer Christmas and skiing in September.

I also had dinner with Pierre Luc last night. It was more like drinks really, but it was good to be round people again. Although there were few of us, I think we had a good time. Turns out we're all like middle-aged woman at the hairdressers - we gossiped about what had happened on the last night of the exchange. Alot when down, but I won't embarrass people you don't know, and it won't sound scandalous unless you have all the history. The necessary people have been informed though.

I still can't believe it snowed. I'm going for a walk.

Christmas with the Elsners

I finally got a real German Christmas. Jana invited me round to her parents' house for Christmas dinner last night, and it was just amazing. I almost got tearful after dinner because I hadn't had a real family dinner since July. They treated me so well, and there was real German Christmas food, and Christmas decorations, a tree, and a huge Advent wreath hanging from the kitchen ceiling.

It made my Christmas.

I even got a Christmas present - a hand made chocolate angel and a book for Hamburg on foot. I'll be putting it to use today and tomorrow. It really pulled me out of the dolldrums and being round a happy family round Christmas time was just pure enjoyment. I had a smile on my face as soon as everyone was happy to see me. I can't thank Jana or her family enough.

One thing her brother will always have to brag about is that he met someone who was in Lord of the Rings. Apparently he's a huge fan, and being eleven years old, I think this encounter is something to treasure. He spent hours asking me what I did, where things were filmed, and just looking in plain awe. It just brings a smile to my face to think about how excited he was. My Dad was right, Christmas is a time for children, so it's best to spend some time with them.

As for today, I'll be attempting the great feat of preparing for my departure. I have to go to the postshop and purchase some boxes to send stuff home in, and look into sending my guitar. I think it'll still be cheaper than excess baggage seeing as I have four legs to my trip.

There's also a dinner with Pierre-Luc and his sister tonight. Pierre-Luc is the nicest guy I've met. He's from Lyon, and is a typical French man. But he's such a pleasure to be around, so hopefully tonight will be a great time.

With that, I must depart. Things to do and all that. I need to get the ball rolling.

Thank Heavens for Small Miracles

I'm just grinning from ear to ear now. A phone conversation can have that kind of impact on me.

Thank you.

I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse

Christmas on my own is more difficult than I ever could have imagined. I've been away from home before over Christmas, but I was with a Japanese family and Japan doesn't really get into the whole festive season. It was a bit easier then. Now though is hard, for two main reasons. Firstly, Germany really gets into the whole Christmas affair, and it really is a huge family affair. It's seeing everyone with huge grins on their faces and hearing about everyone's magical time that really drives it home. My flatmate is being really great though. She's been at her parent's place for most of the days, but the time she does spend at the flat, Jana is making sure I'm doing alright - eating, sleeping, making sure I've got plans, and of course, being very understanding and consoling. Especially about being alone over Christmas.

Which brings me onto the second reason. I think I'd be better over this period if I had my partner in crime around. Sadly though Elaine has gone home, and it's proving more difficult to cope with than I imagined. Jana's being a great help in that regard as well, partly because she's been in a similar position before. I just can't describe how things feel, it's weird. I've ended up being far more paranoid than I ever should be, always waiting for that text message, holding out for a phonecall. I've turned into Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. All I need now are the starving Alsatians.

But in order to get things moving in a more positive direction, I've been rather active. Though I haven't chosen Shaka Khan, I tried to organise a dinner for all the internationals over Christmas. Turns out the only ones without plans already are Tanya and myself. So we met up for dinner last night and tracked down a place that was open. And tonight, I'm cooking up some food because neither of us can really be fussed searching for another place. Plus, the alcohol is cheap at your own house.

On an even brighter note, a couple of the internationals are around after Christmas, so we're meeting up for some dinner and drinks at this little Brew Haus on Wednesday. So I'll have more company. Jana has also invited me round to her parent's house on Tuesday for dinner, so that'd be nice.

I suppose I just could keep writing, but I need to look at organising what I'll be cooking for dinner tonight. I think it'll be some kind of pasta dish.

Christmas Chaos

I decided to head into town today to finish up some errands that needed doing, and ended up not doing alot. The problem lies with the sheer number of people that gather in the central city, and added to that, the people who forgot to do their Christmas shopping. Then on top of that, it's a weekend, so families are in there with their kids doing Christmasy stuff. It was difficult to walk down a street, it was more in the fashion of being swept down a street.

This, of course, made getting things done for my departure rather difficult. I dreaded the thought of standing in a queue for over an hour just to buy a box, cardboard roll, and ask about freight. I'll take my chances next week.

Now, although it seems pretty damn cold to me, and it's the kind of cold that feels like snow could come (pretty pretty please), word on the street is that it's too hot for Glühwein. That's the German version of mulled wine, and by gods it's good. Apparently, the weather is not quite cold enough to invite people to partake in hot alcohol. I think that's just plain stupid. It's cold, single digit territory. So what if this is the warmest December in Hamburg on record. It's a Christmas tradition. Suck it up and drink your beverage with a smile on your face. I know I do.

In further news, it looks like there'll be Christmas dinner tomorrow with some exchange kiddies who are still hanging round. Hopefully. I'm not particularily fond of the thought of Christmas on my lonesome. I'll make something happen. Worst case scenario I can go spend the evening in a cinema watching Casino Royale after having made some traditional Christmas food - nachos.

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish

Okay, so I'm sad. Sad as anything. This morning saw me do two of the hardest things I've had to do in my life thus far. See Elaine off at the airport and attempt not to cry on the way home. Screw mooting in front of Superior Court judges, flying half way around the world on my own, living in a foreign country all by myself, and hunting for a job while overseas. You try holding back the tears on the way home from the airport after saying good bye to someone who means alot to you, knowing you won't see them again for a couple of months, and even then it's not guaranteed. I survived though.

But in order to find some peace for the day, I'm writing this whole thing up. Partly because I need some release, and partly because you need some updates. So, let it begin.

The World would be a better place with more puppeteers. It's a simple solution to everything. I'll explain. Dublin was awesome, and I had a freaking amazing time. It was a great way to wind down from exams and the conclusion of my University studies. Meeting up with Jo was also a sweet little pre-Christmas treat. But before we get to Dublin, there's the farewell party for the exchange programme. It was a blast. Some people had more to drink than others, and others just, well. I can remember the whole night, Elaine, however, has some patchy memories, and some people on the exchange were just slaughtered beyond reason. Luckily, there's photos.

Anyways. Still wondering about the puppeteer I see. Well, on the first morning we were there, we decided to see some sights early. And after walking through the main city area, we hit a little busker scene. Two guys standing there, one with a guitar, and one with a puppet. It was the best street performance I have ever seen in my life. This guy brought the puppet to life, and so many people stopped along the way to watch. Never have I seen a busker's hat get so full of money so quickly. These guys were top-notch.

Apart from the street performances, we also saw alot of Dublin history: the Dublin Castle, St Stephen's Green, the Chester Beatty Museum, Kilmainham Goal, Temple Bar, the Guiness Storehouse, Jameson Old Distillery, and so much more. The place is so full of history. Sadly, a fair portion of it is linked to unrest and violence. Nonetheless, it's an amazing city that has a huge amount of vibrance.

Three things about Dublin I liked best were: firstly, the Chester Beatty Museum. This is the collection of Sir Chester Beatty, a US businessman who became the first honourary Irish citizen. It's free of charge, and has an amazing collection of Asian, Persian, Arabic, and other Indo-Pacific relics and treasures. I highly recommend it.

The second thing I liked the most was the Kilmainham Goal. This was the prison where political prisoners were kept after each political uprising. It also featured in the films In the Name of the Father, The Italian Job, Michael Collins, and some more. The tour there is dirt cheap (like €2.10) and is a fantastic tour. Well worth the trek out of the city centre.

The third thing I liked, was a little restaurant called Monty's of Kathmandu. I have never eaten better Indo-Asian in my life before. Just go. Seriously. But a booking would be a wise idea, it gets packed really easily.

As for now. Well, I'm kind of on my lonesome again. A little heart broken, but it's something that Elaine and I are definitely going to try out. My flatmate is being really nice, she's worried about me and has ordered me to go out today and find things to do.

And that I should do. I have things to attempt today, such as closing my bank account and getting shopping sorted out. Germans celebrate Christmas on the 24th, so I want to get in my grocery shopping before the huge rush.

Nostalgia

Well, it's officially a short span until my last exam in my law degree. I'm sitting here wittling away at the study in front of me. I've also just handed in my last essay ever. Trouble is, I'm pretty certain I've got my law degree, it's just a matter of pride now - getting those last grades.

I was always envisgaing spending my last exam in Wellington, walking out into the welcoming warmth and sun that awaited me after the feverous last few hours. Now, I'm in Hamburg. I'll be walking outside wrapped in warm clothes cursing the ever twilight winter sun. Don't get me wrong, I'll love the feeling of accomplishment with finishing my exams. It's just that my sights are now on slightly more future things. Like finding work, organising travel, and wondering what the grown-up version of me will be like.


Which brings me to an interesting train of thought. People often wonder what their childhood version would say or think of their adult upgrade. I honestly have no clue. Would there be suggstions from the child, or an explanation from the adult? Condemnation versus congratulations I guess. Personally, I think the childhood Michael would nod approvingly at some aspects of my life. I've travelled, I'll be travelling again in the next year and beyond. My goals are beyond the shores of New Zealand. I try to do things with a smile on my face, and I still act like a kid sometimes. Not in that petulant way all the time, but just taking heart with little things.

Would I have anything to explain to the younger me? I don't know. Possibly the lack of marriage and small children. And why I don't have a job, let alone why it's taken so long to finish my education.

Oh, and where all the Lego has gone to. And possibly answer why Voltron is no longer around.

Speaking of television shows, I've managed to discover that TVNZ puts up a fair number of its shows on the net. A fantastic idea if ever there was one. The result is that I can now satisfy those uges to watch Eating Media Lunch anywhere anytime.

Christmas Markets

So I finally took some photos of the Christmas markets here in Hamburg. I should clarify things, there's actually somewhere in the region of five or more markets floating about the city.

This is just one of them. It's right infront of the Rathaus, and it's the largest. There's stalls upon stalls of food, drink, and other goodies. Handmade goodies are made onsight, so you can see glass blowers blow, jewellers jewel, hat makers make, and candy makers make us salivate. It's great fun. Except on a Friday or Saturday night, then it's packed.

You an probably see the sheer number of people at the markets just by looking at the silhouttes in the photo. I took this after I managed to make my way through. Which involved standing still for roughly ten minutes as the crowd wasn't moving. It was a combination of being near the Glühwein stall and the candy stall. Drunk people watching candy being made, while standing in a narrow alleyway is a combination that leads to congestion.

I'm back to more study now.

Bargaining Dance

So you deserve a catchup on things. I'm in the middle of a slight freak out to be perfectly honest. I'm no where nearer finding a job for next year, not even one that doesn't resemble a job assisting the procrastination against real life. In any event, I'm still hunting for jobs. Still waiting for responses. Chasing up every email sent just to make myself remembered. Moral victories are nice, but hell, I want a victory.

Also, I've had my last class here today. Kind of a sobering reminder. Elaine leaves in two weeks, and I'm not looking forward to it. It will work long distance, it's a matter of desire and determination. That I have plenty of.

On the bright side, we went to an exhibition this week: "Cleopatra and the Caesars". It was an interesting exhibition focusing on a recent theory that a specific Helena Style staute, on display, that was discovered in Rome, is actually of Cleopatra. The tour guide we had was top-notch. He highlighted every piece in the exhibition and the story behind each one, and how it related to the theory. I've never had a better tour. So this week isn't all bad.

Plus, we're planning on going to see Happy Feet this weekend as an escape from study. Should be good clean fun.

This was longer before I edited it.

I suppose I should be doing more study, it's just a little difficult to get the drive going. I'll give you the back story - the exam is on International Commercial Transactions. Sounds daunting, and it might be, for the fact the exam content is on the Vienna Sales Convention, otherwise known as the United Nations Convention on Contracts for the International Sales of Goods. The CISG. This may ring a bell for some of you, this is the very thing I lived and breathed for the better part of three years. So you understand my compliancy, and possibly my downfall.

On the brighter side of things, I'm feeling pretty damn good about now. I'm no where nearer knowing my future in next year, all I know is that I'm doing everything I can to ensure it. It's the closest to certainty I can get right now.

You may well ask, is this certainty related to employment or relationships? It's both really. The best I can do for certainty on either count is to lay everything on the table, and pursue everything with as much vigour and passion as possible. That I have done.

On another point, I'd direct your attention to one site that I've only ever found hope from. Post Secret is a website that publishes post-cards anonymously sent in containing various forms of people's secrets. They vary from the absurd to the touching, from the thankful to accusatory. Some have suggested that there's nothing to be gained from visiting this site other than being a voyeur to people's private lives. I don't dispute there's a little voyerusim involved. But there's more. These people have decided they'd give a little slice of themselves, whether to share or find the happiness. It's reassuring to find people that are willing to be as open as that. The other aspect is that it brings some of my problems into perspective. People are going through, have gone through, and resolved much worse problems than I am.

Reality is an easy thing to face when you have perspective.